Here comes Goodbye

Middle of the day...saying goodbyes to Brazilians...actually crying and feeling like a girl...words can't even begin to explain what God has done this summer...my life and others...one word that can only scratch the surface of how I feel from such a sanctifying, quick 2 months in Brasil...Undeserving

So let's see here...I haven't blogged in about 10 days, so let me try and think of what all has happened...

2 days ago, half the team went to Ouro Preto, Brasil, and we took about 10 Brasilians with us. Ouro Preto, which means "Black Gold," is a historical city in Brasil that was founded over 300 years ago. We did some sight-seeing but also got the opportunity to spend more time with the Brasilians we have been investing in for 6 weeks now. It was really fun and interesting and can be explained in detail another day by those that are interested in hearing.

Sunday, I spent the day with one of the Brasilians who has been a Christian for a few months now. His name is Wellinton. I am blown away, still, by the care and hospitality that the Brasilians give their guests. Breakfast was waiting for me when i woke up. Lunch was prepared for me, which took about 2 hours of prep time, and just the genuine care and interest he had for me was incredible. He was only concerned about my comfort and enjoyment during my time in his home. I wish I could demonstrate such love and care for others, but it definitely proves to be a challenge for me whenever I have the opportunity.

Something else I have learned this summer is how little I love people through my actions. Even learning the differences in cultures with greeting one another has revealed much sin to me. Being so used to the Brasilian style greeting of kissing and hugging and showing so much love through service and touch, it has made me feel unloved by my very team. It is so interesting looking at it now, that it doesn't even make sense how I could think that my team did not love me. Because of the cultures, I was setting expectations on the Americans to love me as the Brasilians do...but that just doesn't hold any ground when stepping back and really examining the American culture. We still find it out of place, to treat each other in this way, yet we find it completely appropriate and needed towards Brasilians. I value kisses and hugs so much more now, that it is hard not to receive them from my American team. I will say, my mom will be very happy to know that I will gladly be kissing her from now on. Yes mother, believe it! "I -ike kisses now."

We only have 2 weeks left here. It's hard to believe that this summer has gone by so fast, and I face the torn heart of wanting to go home and not wanting to go home. There is so much here that I love and so much back home that I love. There are countless things that I have experienced and learned and grown in here, that I will never be able to experience again (I will be listing and explaining everything in my final blog), yet I pray that it has so much shaped me and developed me into a godly man, and that it will continue to do so years after it is all said and done.

I am trying to think of what else has happened in the past 10 days, but it is hard to think because it seems like we never stop...I know that we have spent a lot of time with students and really trying to get into deep discussions with them. So you can continue to pray for them, some of them include Gustavo, Julia, Matheus, Natalia, Fernanda, Ana, Marco, Guilierme, and many more.

For our team, please pray that we would have rest in all areas of life (physical, spirtual, emotional) and that we would push hard through the end, and that we would continue loving one another. We have a final retreat this next weekend of the 1st, and then we will go into debriefing training where no Brasilians are allowed. Please continue to pray in this last week. Thank you so much for all your prayers thus far.

Wes

Into the second half

I finally have a good amount of time to sort out my thoughts, feelings, and what has been going on down here in Belo. This is a long one, so hopefully I can adequately catch everyone up on everything.

We just got back from our investigative retreat yesterday and it was an amazing time! We had about 70 Brazilians go to the retreat that was based on the movie Inception. It was really cool to see how our speakers correlated the movie and the important questions to turn peoples’ thoughts to our lives and eternity. Questions such as, “What could have possibly created us…” “What is the relevance of Jesus…” etc. It was really amazing to see the responses from the Brazilians in my discussion group (we broke up into groups of 10-15). It seemed for the most part that the vast majority in my group were genuinely interested in thinking past their lives on this earth. It is so awesome to see this after hearing the generalized outlook, and even experiencing the lack of interest from students thus far. I was continually praying (and knew that you too were praying) for God to give me the right words and to place me around the right people to impact his kingdom. Although a long and slow process, I know that seeds have been planted and will begin to cultivate over the months and years to come. Every question asked in our discussion group, it seemed God gave me the right words to help the Brazilians think deeper and see a perspective of someone who was once blind to the Gospel just as they are. Reminiscing back on when I first started truly investigating the gospel of Christ and finally understanding It (Dec. 2008), I realized we so desperately need three attributes in our search for any truth: Desire, Humility, and Courage. Without one of these three, our search and acceptance of the truth we find can be completely hindered. For example, in my own search, I had the desire to know a deeper truth, one I had rejected and overlooked so many years of my life (I did not understand the gospel of Christ in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, but rather had never read them, and catered the gospel to my own liking by picking, choosing, and even making up what I thought was in there). I also had the courage to discover truths and face the persecution from friends and others who did not agree, but I lacked the humility to admit my wrongs, my faults, anything that I didn’t agree with. Without the humility, I was still blind to the gospel and could not be affected by the love of Christ. I could not accept the truths that were so prevalent in his written word. For the Brazilians in my group this weekend, courage was the attribute that was so repetitively mentioned as being the attribute that was lacking in their lives. Afraid of what friends and family might say; afraid of what they might find that could change every bit of their lives… it was heart breaking to see how we let others get in the way of our eternities, but so encouraging to know how these students were so open and vulnerable to voicing these weaknesses and insecurities to people they don’t even know. Surely if they can do this, God can move in them to grow their desire to find answers and truths that can supersede any lie of this life. I am so excited to continue getting to know these students and start having conversations that could radically affect their eternities. Some of the students investigating include: Wesley, Pablo, Prescilla, Bruno, Raphael, Raphaela, Gustavo, & Venisus. Some of the students who are already believers and continue to grow in their walks and ministry are Wellinton, Vanesinha, & Renatha.

For me, I have still been extremely tired all the time. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually…in all areas I crash each day in the early afternoon. I believe that I have not been resting enough…not understanding when I have been filled my tanks to full, and also just not being able to completely relax when I am resting. I have realized that one of my deep desires is to worship in English. For me, it is so hard to listen to worship songs in Portuguese, and not know what all is being said, and having to concentrate on how to say words and figure out what they mean. During church last night, I was envisioning being back in Orlando and worshipping with the project there. It almost brought me to tears and even now makes my eyes water and my heart yearn for corporate worship where I can just cry out to God without any barriers. At the same time, I feel sadness and hurt thinking of leaving the friendships I have created here, with the possibility of never seeing these brothers and sisters in Christ again, until we reunite in heaven with our King.

I wish I could adequately express how this trip has already changed my life so much. Words cannot even begin to describe a one hundredth of what has happened to my heart here. I pray that when I return home, that these things will stick with me for the rest of my life and I will forever be a changed man who more closely reflects Christ. I think the only way to possibly come close to describing the impact of this culture, these people, this other world, is by the emotions that will reveal my heart once I come back to the world I once knew…that will be so radically different.

I’m sure that there is plenty I left out that I wanted to mention. I’ll look at my notes later and add whatever I forgot. Love you all, and thank you for your diligently prayers.

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
^(A) Try me and know my thoughts!^[a]
24And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and^(B) lead me in^(C) the way everlasting!^[b

Psalm 139:23-24

ughhhhh

Very angry at myself right now, because I accidentally deleted a lot of my pictures off of my computer. I was trying to organize them and lost the vast majority of them...not too happy right now.

I apologize for taking so long to update the blog, but it has been a very busy, draining week. I basically spoke and listened in Portuguese all day Monday and it drained me severely for the rest of the week. I have been pretty tired and sick of people quite honestly. I just want a day away from everyone, alone, by myself, so I can think and just relax. Today through Sunday we have our investigative retreat in another city about an hour from Belo. We will have about 70 Brazilian students coming with us which is awesome! We are really praying and hoping that the majority of them will be open to hearing new and life-altering ideas. It will be a very stressful, tiring weekend, but God will bless it for sure. Please pray for rest, strength, endurance, and an attitude of love throughout the weekend.

On a short tangent, it stormed here last night at our house. We were told it would probably never rain while we here, and it stormed like crazy...reminded me of Memphis before I left. The winds came and blew doors shut, leaving the kitchen looking like a tornado came through. A huge tree out front was blown over and smashed one of the Brazilian's cars. We were without power for about 3 hours. It was definitely fun though. I was so excited it was raining (thunderstorming), that I decided to get in my swim trunks and run outside and play in it...no one followed me for some reason.... oh well...I had fun.

I am beginning to miss a lot about home. My family, rest, isolation when I want it, the feeling of driving a car with more than 60 horsepower, alone...basically, I am missing the feeling of being in control of my life, which has revealed itself this summer as being a big sin in my life.

The great news is that I have a Lord and Savior that has reconciled me, and continues to teach me and grow me in the areas that I struggle, which is basically my whole life.

I have to go for now...I need to start getting things together for the retreat.

Ate depois

Sickness, etc

It's been a rough week in Belo this past week. Had subway for dinner Sunday night...bad idea...I was sick for Sunday night, Monday and Tuesday. Turns out, Subway actually isn't that fresh if you live in Brazil. That made the beginning of the week difficult on top of the difficulty of going to campus each day trying to meet random people who probably don't know much English, start building a relationship and then hopefully get them to want to hang out later and further develop the relationship. After I got well on Wednesday, I tried to start regaining my strength and energy. And wouldn't ya know, I got sick again Saturday morning with some kind of sinus infection or something. It has been a trying week indeed. On top of being physically broken, God has really broken me spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I have been drained in every way possible with what feels like every moment of each day this week. God has really opened my eyes and heart and shown me how much I lack...how much I value control, and how little I can really control my life and be happy. I tend to manage a lot because I enjoy it and am good at it. I found out that whenever there are situations in which I have the choice of where to be or who to be around, it is hard for me to make a commitment of who to be near. Looking past all the complexities, it is evident that I feel I am in control instead of God’s sovereignty. Romans 14:17-23 puts this lie to death and sets me free.

It is becoming more and more difficult to find the time to blog each week. I am trying to keep everyone updated with relevant and vulnerable information, but at the same time, it is hard to express in words, especially in the short frames of time that I am allotted. I hope that you are finding this even the least bit encouraging. It was very nice to get to skype with my parents Sunday, while fighting the weak network we have for the house. It was very refueling, and fulfilled a heart-felt need.

I ask that you pray for the team and I specifically that we would be healed of all the sickness. There are for certain 6 of the team members sick right now with sinus infections, allergies, cold, etc. We can’t exactly quarantine ourselves and the sickness keeps spreading. I have had it twice in the past week and a half now. Thank you for all the continued prayers and support. Hope to update you again soon. There are some pictures posted on my facebook if you wish to see a little of the fun that’s been happening and some of the Brazilian contacts I have made.

Brasil dia sete

It has been a week in Brazil, and it has been a lot of fun, a lot of hard work, very mentally, physically, and spiritually draining, and a mixture of all things. We have been running nonstop spending almost all of our time with Brazilians, lacking restful sleep each night, and just simply pushing ourselves to the limit of our capacities for people, and being intentionally relational to students. We started going to campus on Monday. We arrive at campus around 10 in the morning and usually leave around 4, and on Fridays, 7 or 8. The cafeteria I am assigned to has proven itself so far to have very, very few students who can speak even broken English. It has placed expectations on me to learn and use the language, which has mentally and emotionally drained me much faster than expected. It is very difficult to listen to all of the talks, training sessions, etc. due to the translations that extend the time needed for each talk. Even to sit down and blog is taking a lot of energy out of me. However, it has been great to meet students, learn the little of the language that I know, and start thinking and praying for these students. With my personal ministry on campus, I have been turned away by a lot of students, and awkwardly enough had the best response to a group of eight dental students. We had our first discussion group Thursday night and introduced our theme for the summer, "Origem" or "Origin." We have posed the importance of the questions, "Where did we come from?, Where are we going?, What is our purpose?, and What is wrong with the world?" From these questions, we will introduce the idea of the perfect man that ever lived, and for whom all things were created, Jesus Christ.

Some of the more difficult areas of the week have been trying to connect and spend enough time with God, oddly enough... Worshiping God in another language is beautiful, yet not easy. I feel I can't truly feel the worship because I don't understand the words, and can't completely cry out to God. It has also been difficult to have rest and comfort while at home because I am constantly having to put others' needs and interests before my own, even at my place of vulnerability and rest (Phil. 2:3-4). It has also been difficult trying to spend all day and all night without much intentional, eternal-centered conversation, but rather the relational foundations of building relationships with strangers of another nation, language, culture, and even faith.

Thank you for all the prayers and may I ask that you continue to pray specifically for my rest, capacity for people, servant-hood, the language, and vulnerability to the body. Here are the Brazilians that I am trying to pour into right now.

Matheus

Diego

Paulo

Julia

Andressa

Vitor

Enrique

Gustavo

Bernado

Bruno

Davi

Gustavo

Diogo

Mario

MAtheous

Lucas

MArcelo

Gilerma (Gil-e-air-may)

MAteus

Renatha

Gabi

Julia

Clara

Rafaela

Fernanda

Anna Paula

Lorena

Clarissa

Juliana

Thank you all! I will try and write more soon! Please be patient for updates and spread the word on the blog!

Wes

Driving in Belo/ Day 1 Training/Random thoughts

We started cultural training today in learning what to expect from the Brazilian culture when greeting, socializing, etc. We had breakfast which consisted of some sweet bread with a deli meat and cheese, coffee that is incomparably better than American coffee, and fresh mangoes and bananas. For lunch we had a chicken stroganoff with rice and tomatoes. It was delicious. Apparently lunch is the big meal of the day in Brazil. Dinner is typically small. After lunch, we went out into the city of Belo and learned how to drive. We have been told that the driving is very aggressive and scary...to add to this, the random person I sat next to on the 8 hour flight to Sao Paulo, told me that there were only 2 places in the world that he is afraid to drive...New York City and Belo Horizonte...We found out exactly why today. Brazilians will do anything and take the car anywhere it can go. You constantly need to be checking your mirrors and watching everyone around you. Motorcyclists weave in and out of traffic in between lanes doing whatever they please. If your arm is outside of your car, you are likely to lose it. Despite all this, it was very exciting driving and did not seem too bad once you got behind the wheel. I actually think it is scarier to watch as a passenger. After driving, we now have free time until an hour from now when a lot of Brazilian students will be coming over for us to meet and begin relationships with. We've been told that our capacity for people will need to be greatly increased to be accepted within the culture. For example, we were told that it would not be weird for the students to stay for 6 or 7 hours tonight and consider this a "short time." We also had some language training and are starting to learn key phrases and words. I am very eager to learn the language to partially break down any type of barrier between the students and I.

Some random thoughts:

Our house is amazingly huge (estimating around 4000 sq ft). There is no air condition, no heat, the doors stay open all day and the windows stay open all night. Our room has a giant window that overlooks either Belo or a suburb of Belo, but it is a beautiful view at night, but especially in the morning. "Belo Horizonte" actually means Beautiful Horizon and proves true from the view we have from our home. It has an amazing vacation feeling because the city is literally nothing but mountains and hills with a city hidden within each bend and slope. The warm days and cool nights add flavor and relaxation while being in the house, experiencing the city, and soon the college campuses.

Every where we go, people stare at us. It is a weird feeling being the foreigner for the first time in my life, but at the same time we are told the students are very accepting and will do anything to make us feel loved. It is hard to believe that we are only on day 2 but we will be here for a long, but relatively short 2 months. I already miss some small things in everyday living, the advanced technological conditions of the U.S., and other random small things like hot shower water and the weight room. God will continue to work in my heart and make less of these worldly desires. On another note, I love the food, the relational touch of the Brazilians, and the relaxed mountain-side feeling of living.

Excited to learn more, write more, and grow in my walk with Christ while hopefully impacting others. God has given me this summer to exponentially grow in my view of him, my relational capacity, and my way of expressing my love to others, along with many other things.

For now i have to go, but i will try and write more and post pictures soon.

Wes